How Do I Know When My Parents Need Help?
As your parents age, you may begin to wonder or worry: “Are they safe at home? How can I tell if they need help?” Your parents are independent, private people who are not going to share with you incidents that make you think they are not okay. They do not want to go to a nursing home and lose their independence. They love their home and enjoy being in it. So they are not going to tell you the things that happen that may send them to a nursing home. As a matter of fact, they will hide these issues from you. They are afraid of going to a nursing home, and this is a rational fear. They have seen their friends and neighbors placed into facilities when their health begins to decline. All of their possession are sold or given away, the home they have spent years in is sold, they can no longer sleep in if they feel like it or eat whatever and whenever they want; their losses are great. You need to acknowledge that this is a rational fear, something that may happen to them that can be unpleasant.
The following is a list of indicators for change. Observing any of these things happening does not mean your parent cannot live at home. What it does mean is the situation needs to be assessed. Professional or informal and volunteer services can be put into place to allow your parent to stay in their home safely.
- Unexplained weight loss
- Falls, accidents or bruises
- Forgetting food on stove (look for burned or scorched pans)
- Unpaid bills or utilities being shut off
- Housekeeping decline: dirty walls, floors, windows or bathtub
- Unable to maintain home; broken items not being repaired over long time
- Refrigerator and cabinets empty; not enough food
- Unable to recognize or react to danger
- Getting lost or locked out of the house
- No longer able to transfer independently from bed to wheelchair
- Lack of social support
- Decreased interest in fun or social activities
- Medication errors
- Increased emergency room visits
- Wearing dirty clothes
- Needs to reminded to bathe; has dirty hair or personal odor
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